Ten things to do in a boring sermon

I love John Pritchard's book, Beginning Again. It's a great way back to Christian faith if you've lost your way and it includes lots of practical hints as well as good, solid spiritual advice.

Among its gems are these ten things to do in a boring sermon:

1. Forgive the preacher (unless he makes a habit of it). We don't know if he had a bad week, a blinding headache, or simply ran out of inspiration. In any case, not all ministers are gifted in preaching. The bottom line is: 'As the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive' (Colossians 3.13)
2. Resolve not to go for any cheap shots afterwards, such as "Well, you always manage to find something to fill up the time," "It's a shame they make you preach so often," or "Did you know there are 236 panes of glass in the east window?" Rise above this temptation.
3. Pray for the preacher. It can't do any harm. But don't be too optimistic either. Remember the vicar's daughter who asked her mother why daddy said a prayer before he preached. "He asks God to help him," came the answer. Pause. "Then why doesn't God help him?" asked the little girl (on behalf of the congregation).
4. Pray for the congregation. This is actually very important because God can use almost anything to speak to people's hearts. A word, a phrase, a half-formed idea, even a misheard idea - all can take seed in a listener's mind. The proof of this divine cunning is the number of times a preacher is warmly thanked for something he is sure he never said!
5. Think of a good line to help the preacher re-examine his preaching technique. Try: "Thank you for having a go at that subject today. But what really interests me about it is this..." In other words, get him to think harder about his preaching. If you really want to put the wind up him, you might even suggest setting up a group to discuss his sermon with him regularly. (But be prepared for a small attendance).
6. Pray for yourself, for a forgiving spirit and a good lunch. Or more constructively, pray that God will give you that one pearl which makes the sludge worthwhile.
7. Think how you might preach on this same passage. What would be your main point? How would it relate to the congregation's current experience, and yours? How would you illustrate it? Can you think of a memorable phrase to sum it up so that people might go our 'humming the sermon' instead of the last hymn?
8. Put the sermon in a broader context. Remember that there are hundreds of thousands of sermons being preached all over the world this morning, and some of them are going to be barnstormers. Briefly regret the fact that this is not one of them, but praise God for those people who are being challenged and changed even now in luckier places.
9. If you are having as bad a day as the preacher, allow yourself some extra-curricular activity. A small survey in my home revealed the following favourites: count how many people nearby have dyed their hair; plan next week's menus (or next month's); find a small child and watch it for acts of spectactular freedom. Failing everything, start rattling your watch to see if it's broken.
10. Pray for the Second Coming, when all preaching will be unnecessary.

But here's one thing not to do: don't ever lower your sights in what you expect of the sermon. Here should be a divine-human exchange of the highest order. Remember the words of Thomas Carlyle: "Who, having been called to be a preacher, would stoop to be a king?" Put that on your Christmas card to the vicar.

Beginning Again is published by SPCK, at around £8.00, and I thoroughly recommend it.



Photo: Björn Rixman, on Flickr