How to stay awake in church

These gems from The Lutheran Handbook are aimed at helping worshippers stay awake and alert during church.

Get adequate sleep. Late Saturday nights are Sunday morning's worst enemy.

Drink plenty of water, though not too much. One quick bathroom break is considered permissible. Two or more are bad form.

Good posture will promote an alert bearing and assist in paying attention, so you'll get more out of worship.

Occupy your mind, not your hands. Look around the worship space for visual stimuli. Keep your mind active in this way while continuing to listen.

Stay alert by flexing muscle groups in a pattern. Avoid shaking, rocking or other movements that attract undue attention.

If all else fails, consider pinching yourself. Dig your nails into the fleshy part of your arm or leg, pinch yourself, bite down on your tongue with moderate pressure. Try not to cry out.

I would have thought if it really gets that boring, you may like to talk with the preacher!